Conversations (and something to do with Fire)

  A perfect steak , seared on the outside , medium rare , an unending glass of Cabernet , the smell of pine after a cleansing rain , a fire on a snowy evening , and a stimulating conversation are a ‘few of my favorite things’ .

 On the same token , just like when I hear someone order steak sauce for thier 28 day ,dry aged ,16oz. Porterhouse that has been painstakingly prepared at 1300 degrees F , my mind comes to a screetching halt when I read or hear someone intentionally stopping a conversation with petty jabs , labels , or personal attacks .

  I am guilty of having done the same thing at times ( never the steak sauce , just the pettiness) and it is shameful .

  What happens when you put a stop to a conversation ? What have you won ? When you stomp your foot and slam the door , what does that mean ? It means the conversation is over , that’s all , and that’s not really the point of a conversation , if it’s not ongoing , it’s not a conversation .

 I speak with people frequently with whom I mostly disagree on every issue except civil rights and reproductive rights ,and I absolutely cherish our disagreements , because conversing vs. having two opposing  monologues contains a vital element that imbues a priceless endowment of knowledge . That element ? LISTENING .

 I listen , and I learn . I may never agree , but I learn . I learn about society , about the importance of perspective , about how one’s views and beliefs have formed and sometimes cemented . I genuinely listen and force myself to try and view the debate from the other side . I appreciate passion and determination , fighting for your principles and standing your ground . I also know  it’s possible to disagree with someone and still respect them and their positions.

 I have my own opinions . Does that mean that because your’s are based on a different world view or perspective that you are ‘ignorant’ , ‘stupid’ , a ‘traitor’ ,or just ” batshit crazy ” ?

 Because Einstien and Hawkins think I can (theoretically)step into some kind of freaky hole and come out in another space and time and I have never seen any evidence to make me think that is true , should I call them ignorant ? Crazy?

Because I disagree with birthers , trufers , astroturfers, or a former Governor who thinks there’s something conspicuous or subversive in a bill (that I haven’t even read so I have no e’ffing clue what’s in it ) does that automatically give me the ‘full speed ahead’ on handing out the “Crazy, Ignorant Loon” label to them ?

 Do I have that moral authority or just that hubris ?

 Conversations are designed to be alive . Their purpose is of continum . To simply cut off conversation is to deny only yourself of any hope of understanding the world as seen through eyes other than your own . To live only in your own truth without regard to the validity of someone elses is akin to donning your own personal armor of  benightedness .

 We can choose to only chat amongst ourselves and pat eachother on the back , slap each other on the ass , and hi- five as or world gets smaller and smaller , or we can learn how to have Conversations and grow our own perspective and maybe learn a few things along the way .

 Remember what Ranier Maria Rilke said before you decide to slam a door , “A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.”

 If you have found yourself feeling defensive or have already come up with responses to various aspects of this thread , chances are you haven’t taken the time to even try to ‘listen’ or envision a different perspective … Just sayin’ …